Anyway, so with the 7 inches of snow here in Seattle and not having enough plows to clear the roads I had some down time to do some reading.
I just finished Bell Hooks' "All About Love: New Visions"
I expected her to offer a critique on the ways in which our patriarchal society impacts heterosexual relationships. But instead she brought the discussion on love to a very personal level which I truly enjoyed. For example, she did expose how societal expectations influence men and women differently, but mainly to illustrate that it can sometimes interfere with the important role that honesty plays in true love.
On a personal note, I used to be one of those girls that thought if I were to admit that I bought into the Hollywood notion of Love, that is to be romantically swept off my feet by the man of my dreams, it would mean I was weak and incapable of living as an independent women. While that really isn't my ultimate romantic fantasy, I continued to allow others to perceive me as a woman who had no interest in a romantic pursuit. The desire for romance was there, but because I pretended as if it didn't exist, it entered my sub conscious affecting me in ways that I was completely unaware of. This "I don't need romance" was a very naive attitude and it led to very very naive decisions in terms of relationships and love. After reading Bell Hooks book, I feel as if I have a bit of a better understanding as to why I have felt a strong disconnection from how I thought I understood love to how love was being manifested in many of my previous relationships.
Using many examples from her own life Bell Hooks explores everything from how childhood experiences may influence our expectations during adult life relationships, the classic "why we often make irrational decisions when we feel that we are in love," and even the importance the role community plays in love. But most importantly she completely dispels the hollywood myth of romance while instilling a strong sense of hope for true love.
I'm beginning to acknowledge my own spark of hope of meeting another individual in which I can make a honest heart to heart connection with, connecting beyond all the layers of our complexities that exist within us all. But for now, the love I have for what I do, for my education, my passion and my dreams, and most importantly for my family and friends is more than enough for me.
"We should translate our beliefs about love into concrete action. Justice is what the language of love sounds like when it speaks in public." - Michael Eric Dyson
On a personal note, I used to be one of those girls that thought if I were to admit that I bought into the Hollywood notion of Love, that is to be romantically swept off my feet by the man of my dreams, it would mean I was weak and incapable of living as an independent women. While that really isn't my ultimate romantic fantasy, I continued to allow others to perceive me as a woman who had no interest in a romantic pursuit. The desire for romance was there, but because I pretended as if it didn't exist, it entered my sub conscious affecting me in ways that I was completely unaware of. This "I don't need romance" was a very naive attitude and it led to very very naive decisions in terms of relationships and love. After reading Bell Hooks book, I feel as if I have a bit of a better understanding as to why I have felt a strong disconnection from how I thought I understood love to how love was being manifested in many of my previous relationships.
Using many examples from her own life Bell Hooks explores everything from how childhood experiences may influence our expectations during adult life relationships, the classic "why we often make irrational decisions when we feel that we are in love," and even the importance the role community plays in love. But most importantly she completely dispels the hollywood myth of romance while instilling a strong sense of hope for true love.
I'm beginning to acknowledge my own spark of hope of meeting another individual in which I can make a honest heart to heart connection with, connecting beyond all the layers of our complexities that exist within us all. But for now, the love I have for what I do, for my education, my passion and my dreams, and most importantly for my family and friends is more than enough for me.
"We should translate our beliefs about love into concrete action. Justice is what the language of love sounds like when it speaks in public." - Michael Eric Dyson
happy holidays.
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1 comment:
i would like to read this book.
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